Day 166: New Directions

After the shit storm I kicked up on the last day of term, I saw this playing out one of two ways. Either I pulled myself together, sought the help and support I required and got back on track to become the teacher I want to be or... I decided to quit, turned this blog into a juicy tell-all book (with the odd elaboration) and got myself into more trouble.

You may be surprised to read that I went for the first option.

To be honest, this was purely down to the reaction of The Programme. I of course did not tell them about the rather less pleasant option two, but they (my LDO and tutor) listened to me, gave me advice and reminded me of my good points as a teacher and, well, supported me to the point that it didn't all feel like a massive waste of time.

So, on the back of their advice, and a week of relaxation, I got up this morning with all the determination and positivity of... yeah, well you get the idea. After a minor detour to help a little old lady find her way to hospital (I ended up walking her the whole way there) I walked into school, not quite ready to get back into it after such a nice week off.

After morning briefing I quickly scrabbled together a lesson for my year 7s which ended up going ok. They are a pretty nice group, and will usually do whatever I ask them. Since getting to know them better I find it quite embarrassing knowing that the more able ones are probably bored by the pace of the class, but it tends to be a lot of group discussions. Maybe I should try to incorporate more group work. I have been determined to try some of the things suggested by the lilac-lite course I did with school.

The rest of the day was free, as I didn't expect my year 11s to turn up in period 5 for their last lesson before their exam tomorrow. I spent the next few periods marking my year 7 APPs. By 5.15 I had actually finished them all. I was so pleased - the folders were up to date and a massive weight was taken off my shoulders. I tried to repeat this success with my outstanding year 9 APPs but I realised it was too big a mission so late in the day so I went through the behaviour manager for the new kids I'm getting in the class. Only two look like real problems. I have no idea what to expect, but during my mentor meeting I talked through what to teach them - Romeo and Juliet. Argh! I quite enjoyed teaching this to my year 10s, but the thought of going from top set year 10 to bottom set year 9 was a little bit depressing. I'm hoping my colleagues who taught bottom set year 10 will be able to help me out. I'm hoping to turn my year 9 class into a development one - so they don't think of themselves as bottom set, and so we can do lots of basic literacy things to get them up to scratch. Well, that's the idea anyway. I'm hoping the influx of girls and rigid-er setting will make a difference to the dynamic of the group, but either way I need to prepare a kick-ass first lesson to get them on side. I imagine tomorrow will be a tad chaotic with room changes, seating plans and just getting their books together. I hope that they are a bit nicer this time around...

So after 12 hours at school I ran home, changed, and went straight to the gym for a class. It felt good to sweat out the day, and although I'm still not enjoying the exercise right now, I am determined to get in shape and I know it'll help me feel better in the long run. I am also trying to be more positive in general, and most importantly, try to be more balanced at work. I think stress and fatigue got the better of me last term and I know that in order to keep my colleagues on side, and be more professional, I need to stop yoyo-ing between misery and jubilation.

I've made a mental list of all the things I am going to do this half term and so here it is:

1. Be more positive.
2. Be more calm and less emotional.
3. Try not to shout if I can avoid it.
4. Blog every day and think about professional development when I do.
5. Stay on top of paperwork.
6. Remember why I'm doing this. The real reasons.
7. Do enough outside of school to keep me sane.
8. Try not to leave school until I've planned lessons for the next day (oops...)

I think that's it for now. Anyway, on that note - ciao.