Dawn of the Dead... Unprepared

It's Sunday 30th August, 2009. 13.33. In one week's time I will be entering the crucible and, if all goes well, emerging pure. Unfortunately the crucible in mind is not a metaphorical examination of my integrity but the start of my teaching career. Yes, I am Teaching First. I've decided to keep a blog, for my own sake, rather than any prospective audience, so that I remember exactly what I'm going through and how I feel about it. In my 6 weeks' training - extensive it was not - we were taught about The Importance of Reflection in One's Professional Development and I intend to explore that theory through the good people at blogspot (google?) Yes - I will examine my daily thoughts and experiences and use this to inform and improve my ability to, well, teach. That's the theory anyway. I've also been asked by a friend to keep a record of ridiculous misinformation I may hear from my willing pupils and so this will be kept fairly anonymous so that we can all laugh about it.

And so, 7 days, several hundred hours, lord knows how many minutes (luckily I will not be teaching maths) to go until I cross the threshold into my classroom and face my baying audience - about 30 11-year-olds. Until I have to experience that baptism of fire (is there any other way to describe it?) I must plan 15 hours' worth of lessons, decorate my classroom and attend two days of insets, or staff training days, to you and me.

Right now I am feeling pretty nervous, to say the least. I'm a worrier by my nature and I expected just as much. What am I worried about this time? The kids, I guess. To the uninitiated, I am teaching as part of a national 'project' that aims to address educational disadvantage by transforming exceptional graduates (that's me - ha!) into inspiring and effective teachers and leaders in all blah blah blah. That basically means that I'll be working in a school with low attainment and high levels of poverty to Make A Difference. This part of the scheme excites me the most. I can't wait to meet kids that haven't been encouraged by the system and help them do better. I am all about the raising expectations, me. Let's hope they want them raised. I am expecting a lot of kids to hate me at first, I'm that sort of person, and though I want desperately to be liked, I'm going to darn well ensure that they're all in fear of me, at least for the first term, so that I can put the discipline in place. Asain, that's the theory. I have a reoccurring nightmare of standing in front of a class resembling the last days of Rome where I'm being ignored as I meekly then loudly ask them to be quiet, all to be ignored/shouted back at/stabbed. This is North London, after all.

So what am I doing to prepare myself for this new endeavour? Er, not a lot. That's not true - I believe that procrastination is actually very productive, just not in the area required. So watching Teachers on Channel 4 OD is actually very useful to my Professional Development, I'm sure. Whatever. Maybe I should get started on those lesson plans now.