First Day of School: Inset-apalooza

So here I am, a paid employee. In theory, that is, as I've actually not seen, let alone signed, any sort of contract thus far. I have high hopes that this is merely an oversight on the school's part and I'm not supposed to have given in anything.

Anyway, back to my first day in big school. With all the enthusiasm and verve of a deflated bouncy castle I dragged myself off to the first of two insets. It was only as I was leaving my flat and taking one last, lingering look at the smart, teacher-y outfit I'd painstakingly picked out the night before that I had a ripple of doubt wash over me: do teachers dress up for inset days? What if everyone was in jeans and I was the only one dressed in "business-casual" (as The Cult had drummed in to me since day one of the summer institute...)? Would I be like the one kid (there's always at least one, and it was me on more than one occasion) that forgets it's non-uniform day? I decided not to change - better to be overdressed than under, right? - and ran out the door anyway, but was slightly miffed, upon texting a couple of people to check, that I was in fact mistaken, and it was casual. Never mind, at least I wasn't wearing a suit. This did indicate, if nothing else, the sort of confusion and embarrassment to which I am prone, and will no doubt experience numerous times over the coming year.

The inset itself wasn't too bad. I found out that I'm in the same college (like a school house) as several English colleagues, and the tie our pupils wear is pink, which can't be a bad thing. I also found out that it is possible to smoke a cigarette every half an hour without thinking about it, as long as someone offers company at 'the bin' - the cool, smokey hangout outside the school (a bin, no less.)

I also discovered that out of 120 pupils taking the foundation paper in English, only one got a C. And it was no coincidence that she was the only pupil to get a C on her coursework. This makes me very sad. Not only for the 119 other pupils in her year (42 passed the exam - coursework let them down) but for my own foundation class. I hope I can help at least some of them do better than expected. Any fantasy I had of pushing them all to the elusive C grade was dashed with this information but I know that, even if the chances are slim and the pupils may not want to work, that I MUST believe that they can all do it. I do believe, in my heart of hearts, that any pupil can achieve a C, they just have to want it, and be prepared to put the work in. Therein lies the problem. Hopefully I can work around that.

On a slightly better note, my top set group look pretty good. I am determined to get the top pupil an A*. I will squeeze as many As out of those kids as I can. I will offer them booster classes, afterschool revision, whatever it takes, these kids deserve the best grades they can get. I don't understand why they don't do better - the teachers are good, the kids are bright, the SOW look good enough. I think, and this is just a thought, that it's true what Ofsted said, and it IS all about expectations. At my own school, it was expected that the top sets would get at least half As and some A*s, but I can't believe that a top set in this school isn't expected to do that. I understand the challenging circumstances of the kids' surroundings, and lack of 'educational capital' or whatever it was, but there is no way that I am accepting any less from these kids than the best they can churn out because that's what's important: that kids get the grades they deserve. If they're lazy, or don't care, than fine - but the clever, hard working ones DESERVE to do better and I want to help them.

Anyway, now I'm rambling, but at least the enthusiasm that I fear will be dampened by bitter experience and other factors is still alight and burning inside. My room is decorated and LOVELY and I am excited about getting down to actually teaching. I just need to plan those DAMN lessons first.

Dawn of the Dead... Unprepared

It's Sunday 30th August, 2009. 13.33. In one week's time I will be entering the crucible and, if all goes well, emerging pure. Unfortunately the crucible in mind is not a metaphorical examination of my integrity but the start of my teaching career. Yes, I am Teaching First. I've decided to keep a blog, for my own sake, rather than any prospective audience, so that I remember exactly what I'm going through and how I feel about it. In my 6 weeks' training - extensive it was not - we were taught about The Importance of Reflection in One's Professional Development and I intend to explore that theory through the good people at blogspot (google?) Yes - I will examine my daily thoughts and experiences and use this to inform and improve my ability to, well, teach. That's the theory anyway. I've also been asked by a friend to keep a record of ridiculous misinformation I may hear from my willing pupils and so this will be kept fairly anonymous so that we can all laugh about it.

And so, 7 days, several hundred hours, lord knows how many minutes (luckily I will not be teaching maths) to go until I cross the threshold into my classroom and face my baying audience - about 30 11-year-olds. Until I have to experience that baptism of fire (is there any other way to describe it?) I must plan 15 hours' worth of lessons, decorate my classroom and attend two days of insets, or staff training days, to you and me.

Right now I am feeling pretty nervous, to say the least. I'm a worrier by my nature and I expected just as much. What am I worried about this time? The kids, I guess. To the uninitiated, I am teaching as part of a national 'project' that aims to address educational disadvantage by transforming exceptional graduates (that's me - ha!) into inspiring and effective teachers and leaders in all blah blah blah. That basically means that I'll be working in a school with low attainment and high levels of poverty to Make A Difference. This part of the scheme excites me the most. I can't wait to meet kids that haven't been encouraged by the system and help them do better. I am all about the raising expectations, me. Let's hope they want them raised. I am expecting a lot of kids to hate me at first, I'm that sort of person, and though I want desperately to be liked, I'm going to darn well ensure that they're all in fear of me, at least for the first term, so that I can put the discipline in place. Asain, that's the theory. I have a reoccurring nightmare of standing in front of a class resembling the last days of Rome where I'm being ignored as I meekly then loudly ask them to be quiet, all to be ignored/shouted back at/stabbed. This is North London, after all.

So what am I doing to prepare myself for this new endeavour? Er, not a lot. That's not true - I believe that procrastination is actually very productive, just not in the area required. So watching Teachers on Channel 4 OD is actually very useful to my Professional Development, I'm sure. Whatever. Maybe I should get started on those lesson plans now.