Day 10: How do you solve a problem like media?

Before I knew it, it was Friday. My HoD welcomed me in the morning with an interesting statement: "Well, you've had a hell of a week!" I thought about it, a little taken aback. Yes, he'd read my blog, but I didn't really think it had been that exciting. I guess things blend together after a while.

My year 11 club was due to come in at 10, so I set about preparing my room and printing off resources. I planned to have a media workshop in the morning, then send two of the boys home and finish with a poetry lesson in the afternoon for H.

Until then, I went up to the computer rooms to see what the rest of the year 11s were doing. It was mayhem. 20 students per computer room, all trying to write coursework from scratch, all with no idea. My HoD was up there trying to control the rabble, but every two minutes a new student piped up with a question. I repeated myself more times than I can remember: "Read through the passage, read through in the modern English, then if there's anything you don't understand, look in up on wikipedia." I had no idea that they were so incapable for thinking for themselves; they couldn't even skim read.

I was relieved to escape and went back to the department to await my club. H turned up. Alone. I was a little disappointed, but not exactly surprised. After some awkward conversation about his future ambitions ("Doctor") and what he was reading ("a book about animals") we got in to it. I was going to work through a new piece with him, which centered aroung an advert. I had a page of questions which were split into paragraphs and basically told him what to write. I though that would be simple enough, but unfortunately I was wrong, and had to talk him through every question. At one point I went off for a cigarette and a cup of tea, and when I'd come back half an hour later, he hadn't moved on. It took exactly 5 hours to write the damn thing, and I was so happy when I sent him off at 3, I called him ma to tell him she should be proud of him for trying so hard. I have no idea how the coursework will do, or when I'll fit in the time to help him rewrite his poetry piece, but I suppose I'll have to work something out.

After my incredibly long day I went for a few drinks in the pub, then made my way down to South London for a relaxed evening with friends. Saturday I spent with my family, and it was then that I was hit by the gravity of my situation; that is, I realised just how stressed and tired I am. I've been working more than 12 hours a day, with less than 6 hours sleep a night. I'm in a new job I don't really understand, working with children who would rather do anything to disrupt me than actually sit still and behave. I've had very little training and I feel utterly overwhelmed by all the information I have to process. All I want to do right now is get into bed and sleep, eat, and maybe build myself a little fort. But I have to fill in my journal, and plan my lessons, and prepare my resources. I have 5 weeks till half term and right now, although it's overall going better, I feel like I'll never make it. Or maybe I'm just feeling really down today.