Nerves are not my friend. I know what they signify: the rush of adrenaline filtering through me, preparing my body and mind for fight or flight. Every rugby match, every exam, every new experience upon which I've ever endeavoured, they are there. I wait for the moment before the whistle blows, feeling like my heart is in my mouth, and the anticipation bites at me as I teeter over the precipice.
Am I ready? Hell, no. I want to escape back to my parents' house and hide under my duvet like a child. This is the single biggest challenge I have ever faced, and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I have never been so terrified. I will be repeating a mantra tomorrow: I am an ocean of calm. Maybe it will work?
The one saving grace is that I do only have one lesson tomorrow, on my first day as a Real Teacher. I have 5 hours in the school to ready myself and prepare the classroom, to fix the confident air about myself and paint on a smile. I only hope I don't cry.
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