Day 53: Pick yourself up

It was pretty hard getting in to work today. Not only was I tired, miserable, and fed up, I was also bricking it about the phone call from yesterday. I had decided that I would go in, email the head of year 8 and the tutor of the kids, and tell my head of department, and that would be it. I walked in, which gave me a good 20 mins to think through everything. After the barrage of support and well wishes I'd received from friends and family, I was feeling a bit more positive.

When I got in I ran straight into my colleague, with whom I share the year 8 class. I told her about what happened, and she was extremely nice, telling me I'd done the right thing, and saying what I could do in a future situation, should it arise. Various colleagues came in whilst I was recounting the story, and I was given a hug by one as I cried about the whole thing. I felt much better, especially after my HOD put it all in very clear terms which I won't post here.

First up today was year 9, and the lesson was a little messy. I tried doing something in an active way but the kids weren't really paying attention so it didn't work. I think overall they got the point of the lesson but at times it was a little wishy washy. My pace is a real issue, especially with this group, so I need to make my lessons snappier. There was a rather embarrassing moment where I had to check the answer to an activity and was less than subtle, and one of the most irritating boys in the class noticed and started shouting out: "MISS DOESN'T KNOW THE ANSWERS!" I laughed it off, but it was a reminder that I need to know exactly what I'm doing before the lesson.

Year 11 were next, and I'd planned to basically finish off the activities from the lesson before, which we did do. Once again my pace was sloppy, and the kids that weren't working were beginning to get restless. I keep wanting to wait up for the slower kids but it means the class drags. I think I drilled it into them that the exams focus on characters, and that they need to know about what the characters are like. Even K did some work.

I had two frees before my last lesson, year 10, so I potted around, planning, sorting and such like. I wanted to get marking down but I was a little preoccupied with chatting to my colleagues. I should point out that I'm pretty pleased with myself that I've managed to make it this far without smoking, although I really felt like one yesterday.

Year 10 finally arrived, and I had set up a pretty nice AFL lesson for them - mark exemplar essays and say what was good about each one. They all managed to do this, and most of them were pretty accurate with their marks too. I hope what they need to do went in. One of my Turkish little madams turned up half an hour late, but stayed after for detention without much complaint.

After school I stayed till 7, yes, 7, to prepare for tomorrow and mark. I finally managed to mark year 10's books, and was pretty proud of myself for that one, although I left without planning my year 7 lesson for tomorrow which was less good. At least I have a free I can do it in.

I've noticed in the last couple of days that several fellow Teachy Firsters are getting rather frustrated at the moment. I wonder if things are really that bad for everyone, or if it's true, and that this is the worst term of the year. We're over the first stage of teaching, and onto the dark, long days where we're all tired and fed up, as are the kids. Lots of people are off sick, and those who are in are pissed off. No wonder we're all fed up. I suppose all we can do is pick ourselves up and get on with it. There's only 3 1/2 weeks left till Christmas anyway.